Friday, October 22, 2010
"My love has 2 different faces"
So as everyone might or might not have known, I'm an emotional mess!..lolz..sad to say but its true. i tend to let my emotions take over my life....yep im a cancer!...wait for it...wait for it..however, do not!...i repeat!...DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A WEAK PERSON!..ok so before i explain the title of this blog..listen to this song...
ok so before you go jumping to conclusions NO I WAS NOT HAVING RELATIONS WITH TWO PERSONS AT THE SAME TIME! I am just torn between two. Never in my life would i imagine that i would be in this position where "my love has 2 different faces"...am i not too young to be in this predicament?!?..apparently not -_-..but evidently i wasn't fully over one before i started the next(huh i hope you understood dat)..and over the past couple of days a lot has happen to make me rethink my whole relationship status..i use to hear the saying"you have to close one door before you open another" but i never truly understood what it meant.Now i've come to an concrete understanding of the saying and it basically means what it says. As for me, I didn't close one door and now its still open. I'm not saying i regret it being open, just have come to accept it now. I still care about this specific person and no matter what i don't think there is anything on this earth that can change that. Who knows what the future might have in store for us. And to make things even better we have grown to have a deep understanding and connection with each other, which just makes it a little bit more easier to accept now. As for relationships, i have decided to stay single for ME, not for or because of anyone else. ME!..yes ME!..my whole life i have been focus on the happiness and well being of others and not once have i thought about my happiness. Well the time has come for me to finally put myself first!.Nothing is wrong with being selfish at times. I need to figure out certain things in my life before i can truly be committed to a person. Yes i'm a well rounded individual who has a lot of achievements and goals in life, but somehow i tend to use this as an excuse to overshadow my expectations in a relationship. Plus in the past i have settled for relationships that i know that wasn't the epitome of an ideal relationship. Like my bestie says i cant be independent and stupid, and i ain't even going to lie; that's exactly what i was doing!.Ok soo enough with the mushy stuff...i just needed to get that out...whew!..i been waiting all week to do dat!..lolz..anyways i am excited for this new journey i am embarking on!!..i have soo much to learn from it =]
QOTB:"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us"R.W. Emerson